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English Language - argumentative essay, Proofreading

please help correct all of tutors comments, most important the in text citations, thesis statement and works citied page........here are tutors comments You have a very informative essay and I was glad to see that you support your argument with solid evidence and quotes. Good job! I have a few tips that should assist in polishing the final draft. Quick fixes: The header is missing on the first page...hmmm? Also, the date in the heading should read: 17 April 2017 You will need to add a strong thesis sentence, as the last sentence of your first paragraph. The last three sentences of your conclusion combined would be a beautiful thesis statement! Since, the conclusion should reflect and restate the essay's thesis, this would be the easiest addition. Think of the thesis statement as a teeny tiny book with only one sentence. That one sentence should sum up the main idea/or ideas of the paper. A thesis statement basically describes the whole of the paper in one sentence. Take your supporting ideas, one from each section, and wrap them together with the main idea into a thesis statement. You have good quotes; let's make sure they are properly cited. MLA only requires the author and page number be mentioned once within a quote and parenthetical citation. Example: John Doe says "Man is innately good" (56). OR According to research, "Man is innately good" (Doe 56). You will need to remove the last name from the beginning OR end in the following quotes. (there may be one or two more in the essay) Most scientific studies as well as Lavretsky adding that, “Mindful physical exercise is a special kind of physical exercise with an additional element on the state of mind” (Lavretsky, 70). AND However Moss suggest, “Mindful approaches are not considered to be relaxation or mood management techniques, but rather practices for cultivating greater self-awareness and acceptance” (Moss 1050). Next, let's look at the Works Cited page. Your citation entries look good, but it is rare not to see any websites used. If you only used hard copies...impressive! BUT, if you used any online sources, the web address will need to be added to the citation. I wasn't sure if Eisenburg was a one named author, like Cher or Madonna; is he/she missing a first name? Also, make sure to capitalize the first letter of each major word in the titles, even if they are not initially capitalized. Example:"The Persuasive Appeal of Alternative Medicine." I found a few typos: 1. In as much as medical treatments help to ALLEVIATE some of the symptoms, using alternatives INCREASE the chances of mentally ill patients to get recovered. 2. ALTERNATIVE mental illness treatment acts as supplements to the medical procedures of persons with severe mental illness. 3. MENTALLY ill patients need help from relatives and people around them. 4. Extra word??? They need to be accommodated and be embraced with to help them feel apart of society. I hope these tips help. Keep up the good work; I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. Sincerely, Regina Mason
please help correct all of tutors comments, most important the in text citations, thesis statement and works citied page........here are tutors comments You have a very informative essay and I was glad to see that you support your argument with solid evidence and quotes. Good job! I have a few tips that should assist in polishing the final draft.
Assignment ID
158525
CREATED ON
13 April 2017
COMPLETED ON
14 April 2017
Price
$30
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13 April 2017
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13 April 2017
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13 April 2017
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13 April 2017
User hired writer luvlyn who offered a price of $30 for the job and has experience doing similar assignments
14 April 2017
Writer completed order English Language - argumentative essay, Proofreading for 1 day, meeting the deadline
14 April 2017
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14 April 2017
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