SUBJECT AREA English Language
CREATED ON 20th February 2017
COMPLETED ON 21st February 2017
Expert hired: damwesh

Trapped Behind a Glass Screen

Need just revision Here is the feedback: One important thing to keep in mind for an op-ed is that your main objective is to persuade the reader of an opinion of yours. This op-ed is very research-heavy. What, specifically, are you trying to persuade the reader of? It seems like you get to that part right at the end, when you propose some solutions for how to keep our over reliance on technology in check. Can you expand on that section and minimize the background information? Also, I think it would help if you very explicitly state what you want to convince the reader of early in the op-ed. The tricky thing with writing about technology is that it's such a broad topic. Be specific about what you're trying to persuade and consider minimizing the scope of your topic (just smartphones, for instance). Finally, I might suggest you consider bringing in some of your personal perspective into this piece. How have you managed to limit being over reliant on technology? How has that gone for you? There's room for that kind of writing in an op-ed, and it is in fact preferred. Good luck on revision and let me know if you have any questions.
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20 February 2017
User created a project for English Language
20 February 2017
18 experts responded
20 February 2017
User contacted expert damwesh
20 February 2017
User hired expert damwesh who offered a price of $30 for the project and has experience doing similar projects
21 February 2017
The expert completed the project Trapped Behind a Glass Screen for 1 day, meeting the deadline
21 February 2017
User accepted the project right away and completed the payment
21 February 2017
User left a positive review

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