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Walking A Mile In Her Shoes English Literature Essay

I made a fresh friend in course today and I was all thrilled. We made plans to meet at the cafeteria for lunch time so we're able to become familiar with one another better. At 12pm, both of us sat down to have lunch time and the discourse started. As we got the pleasantries taken care of, more questions that were more serious came along. I asked her what she did for a full time income and she told me she was a dancer. My naЇve brain was excited because I wish to dance too so I said "me too"! She viewed me with surprise and said "really? What team"? Then my face slipped as it dawned on me which kind of dancing she was talking about. My heart and soul sank, as I did not really know what to think about my recently found stripper good friend. She seen my expression and then said to me "don't you dare take a look at me because of this at least not until you've strolled a mile in my shoes. " Then, we required a long walk in her shoes. Following her lead, she presented my hands to where it all started. She led me into a run-down building, opened up the entranceway while we stepped inside. Another part of her shoe, she points to the remains of what was once a mattress and a pillow, both on the sandy floor. "Over there, " she said, "is where I cuddled my child for eighteen long calendar months after my parents kicked me away. " She pointed to a dark-colored broken pot covered in the shadows declaring that was where they cooked properly all their dishes when and if they acquired any. She continued to clarify how her parents required her to give up her child for adoption. She had left the house the night that they had a deal with, after her mom hit her over the face with her fist while she was keeping her baby. She swore to never return home after that incident. WHEN I needed each new step in her shoes, tears flowed out. Today, she works in a strip club to help expand her education and settle the bills while caring for her child at exactly the same time. My recently found friend Anita just flipped twenty a couple of months ago. She actually is from Western world Africa, Nigeria to be specific. Anita was raised by her grandparents in Lagos Nigeria rather than lived with her parents until she changed down to America three years ago.

According to Hutchison, predicated on Anita's era in her changing life course process, she is a young adult. This era, corresponding to Sigmund Freud is a period for work and love. At the period between adolescence and adulthood, most young adult's lives are centered on building stable careers and connections and once, most of them are living in obscurity. Over time, it has been difficult in ascertaining the criteria's involved with distinguishing the markers to see when a person has remaining the adolescence period or when they have got transitioned into adulthood. Although there were some proposed markers before like marriage and childbearing, Hutchinson's reserve on Proportions of Human Habit, "The Changing Life Course", claims that current research have suggested that those transitional markers are no more the salient markers characterizing the young adults in the current society"(p. 288). She travelled ahead to explain why citing the fact that "in 1960, seventy-six ratio of women and sixty-five ratio of men kept home, completed college, became financially indie, got married, and acquired at least one young child by get older 30. However, in the year 2000, not even half of the men and women acquired done so at age 30" (Furstenberg, Kennedy, McCloyd, Rumbaut, & Settersten, 2003, cited in Draut, 2005, p. 6). Furthermore, in John W. Santrock's text, Life-Span Development, sociologist Kenneth Kenniston uses the term "young ones" to spell it out the time between adolescence and adulthood. He expresses that it is a "time of expanded economical and personal temporariness (Santrock 387). " He proposes that children don't have the answers to questions which used to identify adulthood because more adults attend college or university now and marry later.

Theoretical Methods to Young Adulthood

Erikson's Psychosocial Theory

According to Hutchison, Erik Erikson theory talks about the eight consecutive age-defined stages of development that tries to clarify each life course period. Young adult, one of Erikson's theories, represents it as "enough time when individuals move from the identity fragmentation, bafflement, and exploration of adolescence into a far more intimate proposal with significant others (p. 290). The psychosocial task associated with this life stage is Intimacy versus isolation. Intimacy means the process of obtaining a good and secure marriage with family, friends and partner's. Erikson described this stage as the presenting and obtaining of physical and psychological connection, support, love, comfort, trust, and the rest of the elements that we would typically affiliate with healthy adult human relationships encouraging intimacy and child bearing. While Isolation on the contrary means being or being excluded from the regular life activities of internet dating or being in a reciprocally relationship. Characteristics of isolation include thoughts of loneliness, alienation or public withdrawal.

In Anita's case, she seems to be struggling with this stage especially the isolation part than it as she was raised never knowing what it was like to be liked by her own natural parents because her grandparents elevated her. It also appears that because of that, she started out looking for intimacy in the incorrect places, which led to her carrying a child at such a young age. In addition to that, her parents were still not supportive of her keeping her child, which explains why she left the house. Anita has been by herself, revealing her nudity for money. Hutchison thought that "those unsuccessful at attaining the correct intimacy at this stage, may feel alienated, disconnected and alone which might lead to a lack of self and a diminution of your respective constructed individuality" (p. 290). She also thought that it was essential that individuals develop close, devoted relationships with other folks and that those who are successful as of this step will establish associations that are dedicated and secure.

Levinson's Theory of Life Structure

Levinson's theory of life composition is a primary model of an individual's life at any given time. Optimally, someone's life structure is primarily formed by their social and physical environment, that involves family, friends, work, religion, race, and status. Levinson describes this level as "an interval of undulating steadiness and stress signified by transitions that occur at specific chronological times through the life course" (Hutchison, 2008, p. 291). He went on ahead to describe this life composition as the results resulting from specific decisions and selections made along the life span course in areas such as associations, occupation and childbearing. His theory included two key concepts. The Steady period, whenever a person makes essential choices in real life in Anita's case, when she thought we would keep carefully the child and when she made a decision to leave her parents house. The Transitional period, is the finish of a person's life level and the start of a new one. In the case of Anita, the finish of the life level was when she became pregnant and the beginning of another was when she offered birth to the child. An individual's public and economic factor in life can either solidify or weaken their life composition at this time of the life. Anita's situation at home, led her to be sure decisions that has afflicted her life composition and she'll suffer from the result of her decisions. Levinson proposes that the occurrence of a coach is a superb effect in guiding the individual through the road blocks in their chosen pathways (Hutchison, 2008, p. 291).

Arnett's "Emerging" Adulthood

Arnett discusses "Emerging" adulthood in Hutchison's e book as the "developmental period particular from both adolescence and adulthood, happening between the age range of 18 and 25 in industrialized societies (Hutchison, 2008, p. 292). He discusses it as the process where an individual leaves the dependency of adolescence however; they are yet to enter the life stage of adulthood. In conclusion, he defined appearing adulthood as enough time from the finish of adolescence to the young-adult obligations of a stable job, matrimony and parenthood. He also promises that there to be five features of emerging adult: Age group of id exploration, Get older of instability, Time of self-focus, Years of feeling among and Time of alternatives (Arnett & Tanner, 2006).

Anita's life change exemplifies these transitions. Her experience as an individual mom, has helped her in being very picky about who she chooses to be in a romance with, more target about her life in regards to her education, and her experience with her mother, she say's has encouraged her into being the mother she never really had to her little girl. It would appear that Anita is within age alternatives where optimism reigns. Most growing individuals in this level believe they have got better chances of living than their parents does. This theory clarifies the exploration during young adulthood. It allows us to understand Anita's quest through exploration towards stableness.


Romantic Relationships

Platonic relationships generally I believe are hard for anyone to handle more less a romantic relationship. Hutchinson described romantic relationship as "a marriage that is sexually focused, spontaneous and voluntary, and occurs between equivalent lovers" (p. 306). Unlike other styles of associations, the feelings involved with romantic relationships are extremely strong yet delicate making it super easy to feel injure or betrayed. One important factor to presenting a great partnership is to really have the satisfaction of both partners also to have a balance of both positive and negative relations across time. Great romantic relationships can affect one's health, stress level, goals, and achievements either positively or negatively.

People who increase up in dysfunctional relationships have been doomed to subsequently have bad relationship skills however, that is not the case in very situation. Anita's situation can be an exemplory case of such. She was raised without her parents hence; she lacked the love and upbringing almost every other normal child should have. Although that led her to seek that intimacy anywhere else, she on the other hand, would never spend the her child. Although she actually is not in virtually any romantic relationship now, she's a great romantic relationship with her child as well as her professors and classmates; she actually is also very friendly and easy to speak to. Her pregnancy at such a age group, has made her very prone and reluctant to be involved with any one romantically. However, I think this is something she would develop out of once she solidifies and is satisfied with the basic romantic relationships around her and learns more about herself.


Hutchinson describes parenting as an interactive process, with reciprocal parent-child and child-parent affects (p. 309). She went on ahead to say that the role of parenthood could both be exciting and challenging. The second option was the case for Anita who experienced to accept the fact that her parents could not allow her child and moreover, she had to go out to fend for herself following the labor and birth of her child at such a and vulnerable level of her life. In her case, she was an individual parent gets the father of the child was not active in the life of the kid. Thankfully, for Anita, through the early years following the delivery of her child, she was obtaining parenting efficiency from a church whose mission goal was to help teenage moms. It had been not until she transformed nineteen, then she became a dancer/stripper to allow her earn money for child-care services so she could continue her education. Studies show that parenting efficiency has contributed to a far more positive child result and parenting skills in adults (Ardelt & Eccles, 2001).


Mentoring is one individual helping another person to accomplish something or become a better person. It really is about giving support and help in a fashion that the mentee will value and empower them to go forward confidently towards what they want to achieve. Anita happens to be involved with big brothers/big sisters, a non-profit organization involve in the mentorship of young adults. She is also a mentor for Girls Inc. , another non-profit business for young females. This might be of a great avenue for her to move through the change of young adulthood by posting her experiences with the girls and learning from her peers and mentees.

Identity Development

Identity development is how one feels and pertains to oneself in conditions of work, love, self-esteem etc. How one considers themselves is important because it also explains that they relate to other folks. As time passes, as people develop, they redefine their commitments in life and their goals. Having a healthy personality development is good because it influences one's self-confidence. For Anita, parenthood had both a negative and positive effect on her. A negative result in the sense that it certainly affected her child years, and the positive effect in the sense so it made her mature into a sensible woman at a age.

Immigration and Work

According to Rumbaut and Portes, immigrant organizations experience gaps in social, monetary, and legal status that are even greater than the spaces between indigenous whites and blacks. The changeover to adulthood is a complex process in which young adults who've been reliant on parents throughout child years start taking definitive steps to attain options of financial and emotional self-reliance. Although most young adults effectively complete these transitions, many other's experience setbacks in early stages by becoming parents too early, dropping away of institution, or getting back in trouble with the legal system which happened to be Anita's circumstance. Anita's experiences not only made the move to adulthood more difficult, but it addittionally compromised her probable in having better adolescence/young adulthood. Her immigration position as a short-term resident does not make the situation any better. The shortage thereof of a job due to her immigration position made her settle for the dance/stripping as a profession.

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