A Dream I PUT About the Afterlife
Last nighttime I dreamed i had passed away. It wasn't the standard kind of wish. It wasn't the sort of fantasy that you wake up enthralled, reluctant, or tearful from. It had been something deeper than that. AFTER I died, there is no white light to walk toward, no staircase in the clouds, no gold gate atop them, no heavenly chorus credit scoring every single one of my footsteps, as if each one of them pounded on the drums of destiny, no center, no enthusiasm, no feeling that each breath I needed in my mortal life led to this moment, and this now my dreams were approaching true, and I was ascending towards everlasting glory.
There was none of them of this.
But equally there is no fear. There is no nervousness, or stress, or hopelessness. The four emotions I had forever associated with fatality. The thoughts that had left my brain crippled, contemplating other alternatives to constantly coping with the wedding day forever looming over me. Feelings that experienced rendered me ineffective, unable to function, wondering whatever we are doing upon this planet, and just why something as stunning as life on the planet, using its inconceivable beauty and capacity to emote human being euphoria, might well have such a terrifying and head numbing reverse as fatality, and how we could know so little about any of it apart from at its existential main, it is only the lack of life in a recently living body.
No. Rather than fear or euphoria, there is realism. Quite frankly, there was no commotion. I had developed died in a hospital, in a small room, my loved ones surrounding me as I lay in a bed drifting off thanks to an incurable disease, as so many did before me, and so many will do after. WHEN I faded I experienced my woes diminish also. I don't think we understand it when our lives are so busy, but we always have our woes or problems on our brain, we just don't notice them as much. I considered my family and friends. They performed hands and sobbed around my bedside, knowing they were witnessing the last occasions of my human being life. I guessed that I will have been worrying about them, how they would deal without me, but three familiar words kept circulating in my own head. Life goes on. Life would continue for them. They would be sad, but they would find closure, and then eventually it would be their a chance to go too. Nothing of these things concerned me. I had developed always pondered the afterlife, and by this aspect I had formed accepted that I would either see them again, or that we wouldn't need to. I understood that love transcends life.
And then it happened; though it didn't happen instantly. Throughout life I had fashioned always dreamed that as soon as of loss of life would be comparable to an abrupt power-outage, where in a moment, darkness would engulf everything. Nonetheless it wasn't. It was a progressive process and I wasn't quite sure when life got finished, and whatever came next had started. Those around my foundation commenced to leave the area. They left within an orderly fashion, as if it had previously been chosen how they might do so. Each of them does so matter-of-factly, and that was the first indication that I might have exceeded over, as I'm sure in normal circumstances they would be crying and mourning uncontrollably. Instead, all of them just left. Some of them kept my side before leaving, yet others kissed my forehead. And then, just like that, I had been alone, albeit for simply a few seconds.
It was in this moment which i realised that we was witnessing my death out of body. I got ranking in the corner seeing this happen, not laying in the foundation. And then I realised which i now had an objective. I sat at a desk in the center of the room. It was small and there have been only two recliners. The version of myself that I got just been watching acquired out of foundation and sat at the desk also. I had been sitting across the stand from myself. Somehow looking into my own eyes and staring again at them at the same time. Only when you look into your own eyes can you comprehend your existence. And then we talked for what sensed as an hour, and yet it could have lasted for one thousand years because any understanding that I experienced of amount of time in my individual life experienced faded, and I started out to feel that maybe time didn't can be found anymore. We discussed the life I put lived on earth, about the human relationships I had formed and the thoughts I had acquired, what I had achieved in life, and what tag I had kept on the planet earth. And I asked myself that which was going to occur next, and undoubtedly didn't know the answer.
Just as quickly as I got realised what my role was in my own passing over ceremony, I became clueless even more quickly. And there I was. At a table with another person, yet somehow completely only simultaneously; with the most pondered question of all time, and not a single answer. I closed my eye and breathed in. I needed two more, long, similar breaths, and I presented the last one. I opened my eyes.
And then I found everything. Every sunrise and sunset out of every possible spot of the planet earth. Every flower that had ever bloomed, every tree that possessed ever grown, every mountain that had have you been conquered. Every creature on land, in the sky and in the oceans. Every man who acquired available his dreams come true and every woman who had ever before accomplished her best feat. Every new-born baby that had ever been delivered, potential to them. I experienced every sensation that could ever before be experienced, and noticed every note that had have you been enjoyed, I tasted success, I smelled hope and in all of the things combined I saw the face of God.
I awoke in my foundation and questioned my very own existence again. As I write this I am still unaware of what my fantasy means. I believe that we are more than skin and bone fragments. I assume that our bodies are nothing but vessels, and I think that our souls are always yearning to flee them. I am uncertain of the afterlife, and I speculate if this life on earth is simply the afterlife to a past one; that maybe every life is an afterlife and in each one we could promised something different for the next. I wonder how many times I have perished before, I think about just how many times I'll expire again, and I speculate if there is some end to this cycle. The only thing we can be certain of is fatality, for without fatality there is absolutely no life. There can't be one without the other, but I really do not think that birth is the beginning and death the end. Until it is my time to become knowledgeable of what is next to come, I'll just keep dreaming.