Good parenting advice for first time parents

Being or becoming a mother or father is one of the very most challenging, yet most natural things people may face during their life. A first-time parent may feel overwhelmed by the situation, it is therefore important to learn from other parents and research completed in this field. This essay will look at a few of the most crucial pieces of advice a good father or mother can have, that may hopefully lead to a 'good' parenting. First it will outline more in what it means to be a parent. Secondly it'll specify different ideas of child development. Then it will look at attachment and the inner working Model and just why secure connection is important in early childhood. And lastly it'll look initially relationships and exactly how infants experience distress.

A mother or father is someone who has a responsibility to improve and guide a person from child, to adolescent, almost all their way up until their offspring is an adult. Parents are essential, because they are the key example because of their child about how to interact with the world and exactly how they have to lead their life. A parent is a bit like a 'rules' reserve or instruction manual, on how to exist, for a kid. Good parenting is difficult to identify, as one explanation does not fit all, nonetheless it refers to getting a good balance within all aspects of how to be a 'good' parent or guardian. Many successful people tend to be noticed praising their parents and upbringing for their success; this could be due to a result of 'good' parenting. If there is 'good', there has to be 'bad' parenting. Many criminals declare that abusive or poor parenting is a reason for their behavior. It is also important to realize that parenting has modified during the last 50 years, and this the word and expectations of an 'parent or guardian' differs not only as time passes, but also culturally and socially, therefore what one can see as good parenting, can other dissaproof. (Oates, Lewis and Lamb, 2005)

There will vary theories of child development, and each of them focuses on different aspects of development. Psychoanalytic theory's central stage is to place importance to early period of childhood, as that influence the development of adult personality. Freud pressured the importance of childhood situations and experience. He observed child development as group of 'psychosexual periods', where each stage played a job in adult personality. (Oates, 2005) Another theory is cognitive theory, which argues that development of connections from birth contributes to the introduction of terms. Piaget observed children think in another way from adults, and as an initial person, he observed children play a dynamic role in getting knowledge of the globe. Behavioural theory looks at how environmental interaction influences behavior; development is molded by a reaction to rewards, punishments, stimuli or reinforcement. Theory which talks about early interactions is Sociable theory, where Bowlby (1988) argues that early on connections with caregivers play a significant role in child development and continue steadily to influence social connections throughout life.

The way in which newborns create new parts and form their first romantic relationships is vital. This is because these accessories and relationships could potentially provide the 'blue printing' for see your face for the rest of their lives. Therefore an important little bit of advice would be to provide lots of healthy parts for babies early on in their lives. An attachment is something that people have a close bond to or a special relationship with. This can be with an thing or a person. Bowbly (1988) assumed that attachment is essential to make healthy accessories, not only one, but a variety, as this may lead to a more developed 'Internal working model' (IWM). An IWM is made up of three parts; the style of self, model of the 'other' and the relationship between these. The first encounters which babies have build their IWM, which is what they use to tackle new ideas and situations with. Therefore this model helps them to use this preceding knowledge of accessories when they are in new situations with a new objects or people. A wholesome connection is a long-term, steady relationship between a kid and an subject or person, in this example a parent. It is important for the child to make strong healthy parts with not only parents, but also with other people, such as their grandparents or caregivers. The greater relationships the infant has, the better result for the child's IWM, it also brings about healthy psychological development.

Ainsworth's Weird Situation (1978) experiment created four types of connection, a child's IWM can take. The four types are insecure-avoidant (Type A), securely attached (Type B), insecure-resistant/ambivalent (Type C) or disorientated/disorganized (Type D). The Peculiar Situation test examines attachments and its own developmental effects. The experiment talks about the behaviours and actions of a child, when they are separated from their parent and when reunited. Ainsworth noticed that it was when the child and the father or mother were reunited, a child's type was most evident. Mothers of secure babies respond to all their child's emotions, therefore the infants learn that all thoughts are 'valid' in marriage. When reunited the kid found easy to be comforted by its mother. The avoidant infants show only few emotions, which are usually negative. The moms are unresponsive to almost all of the emotions, especially the negative ones. Therefore these infants learn to hide their emotions. At the reunion, these children avoid discussion with their parents. Moms, who respond only to distress responds with their infants, generally have ambivalent newborns. These infants learn that negative feelings obtain the attention of their mother and these emotions will be the 'valid' ones in the relationship. These child children will seek contact and interaction at the reunion, however when it is offered, they reject it. These results demonstrated that important factor of growing infant's different kinds of IWM can be inspired by their mother's awareness with their infant's emotional marketing communications and emotions. (Ainsworth, 1969) Child with secure attachment feels worth his parent's attention and love, and can gain comfort out of this sense when they are separated, and has self-assurance that his parent or guardian will return. Corresponding to Meins et al. (2001), parents, who treat their infants as 'folks' with the own emotions and thoughts, donate to their secure attachment. Bowlby (1988) argues that is important to acquire secure connection, because these children might deal with a relationship with an increase of confidence than someone who has insecure attachment. The attachment theory puts forwards that an newborn who have a secure connection with one or both parents can utilize them as a secure basic where to explore their environment. This is because their IWM represent that of their parent figures. A good example of importance of 'secure connection' and exactly how IWM works can be seen in the programme by Dr Acquarone (2006). Marni possessed problem with her sleeping behaviors, she woke up through the night and needed her mom to comfort her. She acquired formed an attachment to her mom, as she seems secure with her, but as Dr Acquarone suggested, Marni has not produced a sufficiently stable internal working model on her behalf to use as a source of comfort when her mother is not available. Therefore Marni needs to find and develop an connection to a 'alternative' transactional object, which will help her in this example.

It is important to remember that the infant is also a 'person', how a parent relates to the kid in the first life will have a primary influence on its future. Throughout our lives we've many relationships. As people are predominately cultural, it's important that they learn how to make good strong relationships. It is important to make interactions not limited to our physical needs, but also for our subconscious development. Human's first marriage is very important. Winnicott (1964) stated that 'there is no such thing as a child. . . if you set out to describe a child; you will find that you are describing a child and someone. Child cannot exist by themselves, but is essentially part of the relationship. ' (Winnicott, 1964, p. 88) The caregivers are providing the physical needs for the infant; such as food, warmness and support, furthermore they are simply providing the opportunity for the baby to form a romantic relationship with them. As part of a good romance, it is important that an babies and an adult's cultural connections fit well collectively, this is known as 'meshing'. Oates (2005) assumed that meshed interactions between mom and infant can provide the infant the unique experience of taking part in a dialogue, which also supplies the connection with relatedness. Therefore mashing is vital, because getting together with infants has an opportunity for the newborn to identify what his/her behaviour means, and how others react to it. However, newborns are very very sensitive to their mother's responsiveness, as can be seen from Murray and Trevarthen (1985) study. Infants who were getting together with their mothers by way of a video link, where the live hyperlink was replaced by way of a delay or replay of the taking, made the newborns distressed, as the mother was not corresponding to the infants needs properly.

Shuttleworth (1989) assumed that stress is a crucial experience in infancy, that ought to not be avoided as it generates intimate contact between mom and baby. Each parent or guardian deals differently with distressed baby. Winnicott (1965) explained that it's very very important to expectant mother emotionally available to her infant to develop a 'system' of two-way communication. He also thought that toddler should be allowed to experience tolerable annoyance as this contributes to a healthy development of self-reliance and sense of self. Therefore he challenged the word 'good mom', as he perceives 'good mom' as a person who allows the ideal amount of hold off in getting together with the infant's needs. Studies were done on what is the best to do with distressed newborns. For instance Ainsworth and Bell (1970) found that infants, whose crying was overlooked early on, were later crying more often than babies whose moms responded quickly with their babies needs. These findings agree with attachment theory, where in fact the idea is the fact mother reply immediately to her baby's needs. However not all studies have same results. Some shows that baby cries more frequently if the mom responds all too often, this agrees with Social learning theory. In the study of Clarke-Steward (1973) on 11, 14 and 17 a few months old infants was found that mothers who react promptly to distress babies were among the least fretful. However, when the results were analyzed separately in gender, the girls were the most and the least fretful even their moms were very responsive to their alerts of problems. This results support the predictions of both social-learning theorists and attachment theorists, which instances were mentioned previously.

Being a first-time mother or father can be a very challenging and difficult period in a person's life. Therefore it is essential that help is at hand. This has lead way too many theories on child development. Parenting style is an essential aspect, and each mother or father must do what they feel is most beneficial because of their child. This article has discovered some theories and examined research that explores accessories and connections. It recommended that communication is very important between the mother and her toddler, and that communication and attachment has an influence of the mental development of the child. These would be important items of information to pass on, because taking a look at these theories places being a first-time parent or guardian into perspective. They demonstrate the way the activities of the parent will have an effect on the infant possibly for the others of his life. Most important relationships and accessories create the life blue-print for the baby. Obviously flaws happen and mother or father cannot be a perfect on a regular basis. So combined with the advice in any parent help booklet or any research completed, it is important for the mother or father to just do their best whatever happens.

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