Posted at 12.16.2018
The Freedom Writer's Diary was one of my favorites books I've read so far. I could really relate with many of these stories and I felt like I knew them on an individual level. The diary entry I related the most with was Diary number thirty-four "Teenage Alcoholism". I once had to cope with an craving similar to what the writer did, the writer really exposed my eyes to what is really going on in senior high school which I am not the only one who deals with situations such as this, I noticed that I got thinking and feeling the same things she felt. This diary entry really made me feel just like my entire life is on the right path, and reminded me of what lengths I've come to get here.
Now granted that alcohol habit and painkiller craving are two various things physically, there are uncanny and many similarities emotionally. WITHIN THE Freedom Writer's Diary, diary number thirty-four has a feeling of hopelessness, "I have been doing it for so long, it's simply a daily routine like waking up in the morning, going to the toilet, and brushing your teeth" (Freedom Writer's Diary, by: Erin Gruwell, p. 67) I felt like this also sometimes, like this is my entire life it is never going to improve, just deal with it. She also had a graphic to up hold and the actual fact that she knew that image was false made her feel bad about herself "I'm more disappointed in myself for the way I'm tricking people into believing that I'm something I'm not. Since I am in Ms. Gruwell's class, everyone thinks I am "Little Miss Goodie Goodie". . If indeed they only knew that on the inside I am just barely keeping it together. " (p. 67). She and I both felt like we were living a life that was designed for someone else, like there is absolutely no way I possibly could have let my life spiral this far uncontrollable, what have I done to myself. I also like her felt like no-one would like the true, the sober, me "I am living a lie. I am struggling with a deep secret-being a "closet drinker. ". I fear that individuals will not like the sober me. " (p. 67). So we continued with our lives as these were, until 1 day enough was enough I needed my entire life back I and would take it back no matter what or who stood in my own way. I have come so far to get where I am today and I have worked so difficult but that only makes me appreciate all I've accomplished that much more. I could only hope that Diary number 34 felt the same manner and got her life back too.
Addiction is an awful, horrible, disgusting monster. It will build and build inside you until one day it explodes and comes out to play, but you do not have confidence in monsters, might be found are for children's story book books, until that is, this monster knock you in the face and on to your butt. And when you get back through to your feet you understand that it was not a monster it was you standing in your own way.