Posted at 11.22.2018
"People wisdom" offer advice about how exactly to deal with thoughts in negotiation: Do not get emotional! Most of the times negotiators are encouraged to "Keep a poker face", to "Swallow your pride". For your negotiator, emotions are seen as an impediment to avoid no matter what. However, as negotiators are common human beings, this advice is very difficult to follow and frequently makes things worse (Shapiro, 2004).
I, like Shapiro, assume that HUMANS are in point out of "perpetual emotion" (Shapiro, 2001). In any sort of negotiation, with a colleague or a friend, we constantly experience effective says or emotions in several situations such as anger or stress and anxiety. Research has shown, as we will have in the next pages, that Thoughts are stimulated by the framework encompassing us, by our very own activities and thoughts and by the actions of our own counterparty toward us.
In these internet pages I will discuss the role of feelings in discussions and how can we understand, use or control these to provide the collective passions of the parties around the stand. First, I'll start by giving some definitions in order to body the project. Second of all, I will discuss the role of sentiment within the decision making process. Furthermore, I am going to discuss the role of feelings in negotiations. Finally, I'll describe some techniques that will help us to understand our thoughts and try to manage them in order to reach the contract we are looking for.
Fells illustrate Negotiation as an activity where two parties with differences which they need to resolve want to reach an contract through exploring different options and exchanging offers and an contract (Fells, 2010).
It is very hard to almost all of us to put thoughts into words, but there are thousands of words in the British lexicon or in any other language to describe different thoughts (Keltner and Ekman, 2000) and there's also a great deal of definitions of emotion. Here are some:
An feelings is a felt experience. When someone says or does indeed something that is in person significant to you, your emotions react, usually along with associated thoughts, physiological changes, and a need to do something (Keltner and Ekman, 2000).
Most agree with the fact in defining feelings as brief, rapid responses relating physiological, experiential, and behavioral activity that help humans react to survival-related problems and opportunities. Feelings are briefer and have more specific causes than moods (Goleman, 1995).
The impact of thoughts in negotiation is distributed by the influence thoughts have in your choice making process we follow before taking an action, it can be unconscious or conscious.
Antonio Damasio, one of the world's leader's experts in neuroscience, helped design a seminal test evaluating the role of feelings in the decision making process. The test demonstrates that our thoughts are part of the decision-making process. In fact, they concluded that emotions may actually lead the procedure, because emotions will be the engine of the activities we take. (Finkelstein et al. , 2008).
The order of the decision-making process appears to be as follow: The process starts with input from the environment, taking this to the negotiation process, the procedure would start with the information that our counterpart give us conscientious or unconscientiously, including body language and first impression. The next thing is an unconscious psychological reaction. This is accompanied by behavioral change good emotional response. Then we became aware of the thoughts that are traveling the behavioral change. They are our gut thoughts. Finally, we're able to decide using a process of reasoning that creates actions in response of the process, this decision is a behaviour or an action that impact the negotiation (Bechara et al. , 2000).
As human beings, our decision making process and thus our behaviour, is lead in a huge way by our thoughts, but how this relationship have an impact on the negotiation process?
While thoughts can be considered a barrier to value-maximizing contract, the common advice to "be rid of emotions" is infeasible and unwise. New research shows that a negotiator can increase the efficiency and performance of the negotiation by getting and understanding of the info communicated by their own and those of other emotions and also by exhibiting positive emotions into the negotiation process (Shapiro, 2004).
Emotions are tightly associated with action, they don't require representation. They encourage us to do something; emotions hold with them a feeling of simpleness and clarity which makes actions easier (Goleman, 2006). So, if we deal with feelings strategically, we can use them as an instrument to reach a negotiation goal.
Studies about emotions in negotiation show a "positive emotion" can sign Cooperativeness and trustworthiness, elicit cooperation, trust and concession form others, and promise rewards for others. "Negative emotions", on the other hand, impresses the other party as intense, competitive and reckless, elicits compliance from the other party and signals punishment or negative outcomes for the non-complying challenger (Thompson et al. , 2001). But this won't mean that we can not use "negative feelings" to create certain effect in our counterparty.
Despite the risk of relational harm, negative feelings do provide important interpersonal functions, because the role negative negotiators take will probably win over the other aspect as extreme, high-risk, reckless and relatively out of control.
The learning appears to be that negotiators should be aware of messages of vitality hidden emotions, which may be highly effective resources of social effect (Li and Roloff, 2006). If negotiators intend to influence their counterparties through effective exhibits, they first need to find out which feelings are better and learn to manage thoughts to utilize them strategically.
Since emotions effect decisions, thus discussions, mainly in helpful ways (as emotions are needed to take action) we do not want to attempt to eliminate their impact. Actually, as Finkelstein talked about, because emotions generally work on our body and unconscious, we're able to not eliminate their impact even if we tried out. Additionally, he said, we need feelings to make decisions, thus to work out: we seem to be specially incompetent decision makers when the psychological part of our own brain is harm (Finkelstein et al. , 2008).
Daniel Shapiro pointed out that interest-based negotiators can experience great gain by understanding the info communicated via emotions and by enlisting positive thoughts into their interactions.
Awareness of thoughts, ones own and the ones of others, provides a negotiator with a knowledge of the value of each person's hobbies and concerns. With widened information about the relative importance of pursuits, parties will be more capable of devising options for common gain. Shapiro continue saying that by expressing your sentiment, you provide the other negotiator with important information about how you want to be cured (Shapiro, 2004).
Shapiro in his book Beyond Reason says that people can use 5 key concerns to understand the emotional weather in a negotiation and improve it: Appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status and role.
Appreciation identifies understand others perspective and communicate understanding trough words and actions. Shapiro mentions that by appreciating peoples things of views reduces the counterparty amount of resistance to your opinions. And even if they remain protective, you learn information you can use to impact them.
Affiliation if about finding commonalities that you tell your counterpart or built new ones to transport you forwards. Negotiators power trust and decrease tension by building affiliation. But we must be aware because affiliation can be utilized in strategic emotion.
Respecting Autonomy will help to avoid the emotional pitfalls that trip up many negotiators when they feel their autonomy has been overpass, by the end no one likes to be told how to proceed.
Acknowledge Status: Failing to recognize someones status appropriately can cause negative emotions.
Choose a fulfilling Role: As negotiators, we might find ourselves playing the role of an agent with respect to a client or supervisor. Strong negative thoughts can build up when our assignments don't suit us well or when this roles are incompatible.
When effectively channeled, strong thoughts can help us to be an improved negotiator, however when our feelings obtain the better folks during a negotiation, they become distracting and possibly destructive.
If we can anticipate when an emotion might distort our common sense, we can set up some mechanism along the way that will help us to beat the distortion. Some of the mechanism are: Emotional Control identifies an individual's capability to demonstrate or avoid exhibiting an mental response as a subject of personal desire alternatively than as an involuntary outcome of environmental condition (Li and Roloff, 2006).
Emotional rules is a couple of processes where feelings are themselves regulated and reappraisal modifies how we evaluate situations that creates emotions. Suppression is about inhibiting emotion-expressive behavior, which decreases do it yourself reported encounters of such feelings. Sentiment Work is thought as the "management of thoughts to create a publicly observable facial and body screen" (Li and Roloff, 2006).
Because emotions converse information, an observant negotiator may make an effort to exploit that information. Some negotiators try to stimulate an emotion -positive or negative- in others for tactical gain.
Shu Li (2006) perfectly describes strategic feelings with a good example: As the negotiator shows sadness or aggravation that he does not genuinely feel in order to evoke the opponent's compassion, as he will try to mask the delight of obtaining a desired outcome so that the opponent will not become alarmed and discontent, or when he makes an attempt to stay peaceful while truly infuriated by this challenger just because that is the appropriate thing to do, the negotiator partcipates in feelings management. But to in a position to use emotions strategically, we ought to have the ability to manage the techniques of psychological control, emotional regulation and emotional work. Successful tactical emotion requires exact analysis of the emotional needs in specific situations, integration of such needs with one's affective tendencies (positive or negative) and efficacy in deploying the strategy.
It is important to address that strategic feeling management differs from individual to individual once we do not absolutely all talk about the same emotional management styles and competencies. Although I am not going to go deep in this extend, I'd like to mention the individual characteristics founded by Shu Li, that are most proximately related to the proper expression of emotions:
Affectivity, which captures individual tendencies in emotional experiences and can be positive and negative; negotiators with High negative affectivity aren't only more likely to experience negative emotions during typical conflict-riden occasions of contention, but also when they are confronted with ambiguity in the problem and the challenger. Therefore, they may favor negative to positive feelings as well.
Emotional Expressivity is related to a stable specific characteristic associated with feeling expressive behavior and can be high or low; high expressivity, either positive or negative, could be harmful for a negotiator because the overflowing feelings may show you too much in regards to a negotiator's positions, choices and strategies.
Affectivity and Emotional Expressivity target around natural specific tendencies toward feeling, with affectivity focusing on emotional experience and expressivity capturing emotional manifestation. These characteristics would effect on effective habits in negotiation, but given that they do not record the cognitive and strategic-motivational process, strategic emotional display would be inspired more seriously by the following traits that embody individual differences in the conscientious management of feelings.
Emotional Cleverness (EI) identifies four branches of core psychological regulation competencies: perceiving emotions, using emotions to aid thinking, understanding thoughts and managing thoughts. Individuals High in EI, especially Strategic EI, will be able to maintain control over their affective express than those low in EI. They may be able to use emotions strategically, "knowing when to and when not to communicate emotion and focusing on how much and in what form to express feelings when its use is necessary.
Self Monitoring is concerned with the process by which individuals actively plan, enact and guide their behaviour in interpersonal situations; high self-monitoring individuals ask the question: Exactly what does the problem demand of me and what image must i project? They show beautiful situation-to-situation discriminativeness and variant in their interpersonal behaviour, and the correspondence between behavior and attitude is often low.
The major difference between your two is the fact that EI targets emotional expression, while self monitoring books a wider selection of self-presentation behaviours. Both qualities might forecast the effective use of tactical thoughts (Li and Roloff, 2006).
The proper use of feelings in negotiation, relating to Barry (Barry and Oliver, 1996), is the "willful use of psychological display or appearance as a tactical gambit by an individual negotiator" it might reflect dissociation from one's genuine mental experience, in that a negotiator shows emotions that are occasionally altered in level or nature, and at other times not influenced by real mental experience whatsoever. In order to use thoughts strategically, individuals need to be able to exercise psychological control and take part in emotion work if they intend to task a desired do it yourself image. A tactical negotiator assesses the necessity for specific emotions, strategies for the display of such emotions, and executes the program with appropriate expressive behavior.
Negotiators that use Proper feeling can be found, a person may learn that the automobile sales rep is lying as a strategy to stress with him and take his business elsewhere. Strategic emotion works the additional threat of damaging long-term relationships. Strategic sentiment may work to 1 negotiator's benefits in the short-term, but over the course of time others could become alert to the manipulation, become upset, and undermine the tactic through retaliation.
As a negotiator, you should not avoid emotions any more that you can avoid thoughts. They are simply powerful, hard to take care of and always present. And far from being weak, thoughts are perhaps your very best source of power as a negotiator, if you understand how to use them wisely.