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Different views on are in relationships

From Marriage to Live-inââââ What Next? Change is a guideline of life. Any change brings with it some type of controversy as it disturbs the prevailing order of life. In Marxian idea it is the connections between thesis(existing order) and anti-thesis(new change) causing into a new mechanism called as synthesis. When any economical change occurs, it brings with it sociable and moral changes too. Globalization is such a sensation of the century which includes resulted into a chain reaction of social transformation in India with special mention of family and relationship system.

Globalization is a term used for several economic, social, scientific and politics changes on a world scale. These changes have impacted real human relations in the 3rd World countries on the whole and India specifically in an unprecedented way. In the process of globalization, many family ties are lost forever. Globalization has pressured all romantic relationships. In family life, the formerly dominant worth of loyalty, obligation, compliance, and self-sacrifice are little by little being displaced by the specifications of personal fulfillment, companionship, erotic gratification for partner, equalitarianism, and compatibility, at least one of the upper classes in developing countries.

Man is actually a social dog. Life for us is an extended journey full of problems and problems. We do not want to wade through it only, but desire for company and commitment of another person that provides a shoulder to lean on and talk about some of our responsibilities. Thus, the institution of marriage was created in which two parents of opposite making love formally tie the knot in a socially and legitimately accepted and enduring bond that is meant to last an entire lifetime.

However in the last few generations of globalization, this time-tested design has come under danger. Unbelievable as it may sound, relationship has begun to lose its importance and sanctity. People today share openly, " Do we need to get married whatsoever whenever we can have exactly what relationship offers without formally tying the knot? The Secular education and methodical temperament of people which make them question everything and women have become impartial socially and economically and see no issue in living by itself. Because of this, live-in relationships have grown to be quite common.

The legalization of 'live-in' relationships in Maharashtra has brought up a great controversy all over India. But then the question that arises here is, exactly why is it that more and more people prefer to truly have a non permanent live-in than to really have the long term baggage to a married relationship? How come a population as conservative and as traditional as the Indian society has given destination to an idea as modern as 'live-in'? Marriage is known as to be the sacred relationship between a man and a woman. So is the idea of 'live-in' immoral? When the government is ready to acknowledge the existence of live-in marriage in India and is also making legal agreements, why has it turn into a social issue? Matrimony or a live-in romance is a problem of two individuals and the role of world has to be minimal in a democratic setup of India where we promise certain freedoms to individuals and one particular flexibility is to choose your life partner. Whether you choose a married relationship or a live- in kind of agreement, it will not lead to 1 as ethical and moral and the other as unethical and immoral. I think this is and really should be more reasonable thought process.

Different views on Live-in Relationship

There are a lot of people and lovers who are to get the legalization of live-in human relationships in India today.

Famous film maker, Shyam Benegal "It a very good step as it will not only protect the rights of women who enter into a live-in romance but will also be helpful to the children from such relations in getting their rights in future.

Marriage Counsellor Mangala Samant, "Nearly 20 per cent of IT pros prefer to have a live-in relationship before engaged and getting married. Prolonged working, difficult lives and an inactive sociable life are a few of the reasons for this trend. "

Famous Friendly Activist Shobhaa De has commented that the dynamics of marriages have changed due to the fact women are actually financially independent and for that reason in a position to question the old chauvinist order created mainly by men. Thus Women who've now certain amount of bying power and dispensing power too, find some space to decide which type of relationship they would like to choose. They believe that they can also choose partnerships as per their convenience.

According to a Review with the Journal of Marriage and the Family, live in' romantic relationships are weak commitments.

Social Geographer Soma Das says that folks who opt for live-in associations achieve this task because they don't believe in marriage.

Live-In Relationship

The twentieth century recorded certain changes of far reaching importance in the family system specifically in India consuming globalization, westernization, industrialization, modernization and greater population mobility across the sub-continent. Since then your Indian family has progressively confronted and combated various kinds of problems and issues. The Indian world has experienced over an interval of the centaury great changes in cultural norms that seem to be far greater than the expectations of Indian sociologists and anthropologists. The reason why for these significant changes were

Disappearance of traditional joint family from the urban scene.

Increase in the life expectancy of women from 23 years in 1901-10 to 65 years (it is higher than that of men by three years) in 2009 2009.

Rise in the proportion of female going households, reduction in the average age of household heads.

Increase in the occurrence of breakup, greater pressure and issues between partner and partner as an outcome of relationship.

Increased independence of marital choice.

Greater participation of females in decision making process.

Increase in the mean era at matrimony of feminine from 13 years in 1901 to 18 years in 2001.

Rise in the amount of feminine education.

These dynamics show you the whole range of changes in the family system- its composition, functions, core prices and regulative norms. It has resulted into a substitute for the profound routed family and marriage system called as a "Live-in Marriage" The legal meaning of live in relationship is "an agreement of living under that your couples that happen to be unmarried live collectively to execute a long-going romance similarly just as marriage. "

In present time increasingly more couples choose never to marry, nonetheless they desire to have long-term human relationships without matrimony. Thus they live along without being wedded, just like spouses. This agreement is termed as 'Live-in Marriage'. Live-in associations among urban, educated, upper-middle class young people commenced as a declaration of independence, as a way of steering clear of the 'shackles' of institutionalized marriages. In fact, it's a willful rejection of the institution of marriage, and of the restrictions and inequalities it includes come to stand for. Live-in relationships, pre-marital love-making, divorces, words which were taboo just five years back, explain the changing face of relationships in India today. Live-in relationship is a very progressive concept that gives couples the time to determine if they are compatible.

Some statistics

A US Population Fund analysis found that 60% of committed Indian women were subjects of rape, defeating or sexual misuse at the hands of their husbands.

In 2005, the Country wide Crime Information Bureau saved 155, 553 crimes against women. The real figure may be much more as a large number of instances that go unreported due to the fear of social stigma.

According to Kavita Jain, an expert, skilled counselor and trainer on subject 'Parenting', 60% increase within live-in interactions in India since 2004.

According to the census of India data, of all homes nuclear family constituted 70 percent and solo member or even more than one member households without partner (or eroded young families) comprised about 11 percent. The expanded and joint family or homes together claim simply 20 percent of all households. This is the overall picture about the complete country, whereas in the case of cities the percentage of nuclear family is slightly higher still.

The available data from the National Family and Health Study-1 of 1992-93 (henceforth NFHS) suggest that joint family does not make up more than five percent of all families in urban areas (Singh, 2004:137).

In Maharashtra, a state that has witnessed two out of every five marriages end in divorce, according to results from 2005.

Reasons for increasing Live-in Associations in India

Economic Factors

Tremendous growth of Indian call centers in the last few years leading to appreciable socio-economic and cultural trends in Indian society

No legal complications, financial complications or complex negotiations for dividing property and debts between the partners

The increased career possibilities to the Indian children have helped them enhance their personality, knowledge, become more mature and prepared to take different challenges

Key changes helped bring by the BPO industry as increased financial independence of today's young ones. (on an average a call center employ earns anywhere between Rs 10, 000-15, 000 and lives with his family, it results in an increased purchasing ability. )

The impact of consumerism on the economically independent youth is clearly apparent. The general tendency is to spend eating dinner out, entertainment, buying top quality consumer goods or electronics or even buying an automobile or house. (motto of 'live life king-size'. )

Both the high income group and the low income group are in a position to readily accept newer kinds of relationships. A woman from an unhealthy family looking for shelter without much hesitation can consider no injury in living with a man of the just a bit higher financial position without marrying him.

Frequent switchover of jobs

Increased opportunities for the economic emancipation of women via profitable jobs in rising services and it (IT) industry through globalization (in Maharashtra, where in fact the female workforce mans the IT, outsourcing and services sectors)

Social Factors

Divorce instances are increasing as the present-day lovers believe that it is better to end a romantic relationship than carry on with the burden of any dead relationship forever and the couples do not be reluctant to seek divorce at the slightest provocation

The long and peculiar working hours, and 'too soon and too much' of your responsibility, snacks at the job effects on the mental and health conditions of the people. Their working time also give them scarcely anytime to connect to their families or friends

Change in interpersonal equilibrium: The BPO sector employs a large number of women every year, providing new and convenient kinds of improve women, which helps them manage their family in better manner. The decision centers also choose women because they are perceived be more hard working, patient, loyal and with better social skills than men.

Though there are extensive families who understand career in a call center for women a 'taboo', this belief is little by little changing. Because of the international secure working atmosphere, higher wages, gender-neutral (Zero-tolerance for intimate misuse), free pick-up and drop-off service at home, BPO is viewed as 'the' choice for a majority amount of women. This has helped them have more confidence, a good attitude and view towards life and helped in the entire empowerment of women

delay in the age at matrimony, higher rates of marital disruption and much more egalitarian gender role attitudes among men and women

Today, profession is everything for Indians. Marriage can wait, hence, they like live-ins "Job is becoming their concentration point, and somewhat than engaged and getting married, they acknowledge live-in relationships as part of their lives, "

relationships have become more cross-cultural, also, they are more contractual now, probably leading to more clear-cut anticipations from each other

Subjective Factors

Avoiding responsibility as the leading reason.

Lack of commitment

Disrespect of cultural bonds

Lack of tolerance in relationships

Element of convenience.


No need to surrender any protection under the law or accept any commitments.

Test of mental and physical compatibility

Freedom to the associates to walk out of the relationship as and when they need.

Live-in-relationships aren't new in our society. The only difference is that now people have become open about it. Formally these were known as "Maitri Karars" where people of two opposite sex would enter into a written agreement to be friends, live alongside one another and look after each other. Ancient Indian laws comprised the concept of the Gandharva Vivah(consensual relationship) A big change is visible in our society from established relationships to love relationships and today to 'live-in-relationships'. Each one of these were the same reside in associations but less explicitly indicated. When live-in connections first came out into the wide open in India, it created an uproar, with accusations of computer being against Indian morality and culture. As the ages have absent by, the number of couples opting for cohabitation, with no strings of relationship, has more than doubled. It is a trend that is more evident within the last decade. The Indian government has recently recognised live-in romantic relationships on par with marriage, in a fresh law on local violence proves that this is a growing social certainty. With this framework of reference why don't we turn to marriage system in India.


A relationship is considered as a life-long union for the couple, as it is a sacrament, rather than contract between the couple to reside in a social union so long as it is cordially feasible. Even in the event of frequent mental and physical torture, most Indian women persist in marriage, Based on the 2001 census, India includes 192. 7 million homeowners spread over 0. 59 million villages and about 5, 000 towns.

Reasons for the long lasting of Relationship System in India:

Remarriage of divorced or separated women is quite difficult.

Women havent been entirely averse to cohabitation as the socio-cultural norms have always attached a certain interpersonal stigma to divorce.

Substantial benefit relationship offers to the few is emotional commitment and support.

The lovers demand commitment and bare all their secrets to one another and promote their finances to buy assets for the family. There is absolutely no other romantic relationship that can match the emotional support, social popularity and legal rights that a marriage provides.

Social and Legal acknowledgement. (The society identifies and respects the relationship).

Marriage is secured by regulations and both companions have their clearly defined protection under the law and commitments.

Strict provisions to manage children, upbringing in case there is parental divorce.

Lot of money and effort to dissolve a married relationship since it is an extremely formal and water-tight agreement. One just cannot leave lightly.

Children need security of home, brought up by both parents for best results. Home is something to come back to, after having a grueling day and for children to prosper.

For the sake of future generations it must be preserved with all its sanctity.

People possessed both admiration for and concern with social beliefs and public judgment.

System of religious perception has provided enough sustenance to the establishment of matrimony and family

However, the relatively higher divorce rate in cities, connote that relationship is an organization in trouble, or else expectations are so high that individuals are no more willing to put up with the sorts of dissatisfactions and vacant shell relationships that the previous generations tolerated. High rate of remarriages clearly means that folks are compromising their relationships because of unsatisfactory human relationships. Our whole socialization is in a way that for any unsuccessful relationship which results in such violence or divorce, it will always be the woman, who is held responsible. Cultural beliefs and practices that discriminate against women may be officially discredited, but they continue to flourish at the grassroots levels. Family relations in India are governed by personal laws and regulations.

This social transformation thus underlines the need for an alternative for marriage in terms of any live-in relationship which has an advantage over marriages like,

It gives the partners a chance to understand each other. The partners are free from any social commitments and can hence live without any guilt. They decrease the number of divorces and the mental torture individuals go through. It reduces home violence as the partner can leave anytime

Marriage will not offer personal independence to lovers as a live-in romantic relationship does

You need not stick alongside one another if both partners are really incompatible. The stress is much significantly less than divorce because divorce itself is hurtful with fake allegations and counter allegations which makes it a cruel battle of wits where no-one wins.

Apart from these advantages there are Bottlenecks of Live-in Marriage in India.

The biggest drawback is the cultural stigma in Indian modern culture. People have yet not accepted this form of relationship.

Custody and status of children

Because there is absolutely no interpersonal responsibility, the partner is free. He/she could make misuse of this reality and constantly change partners.

Can definitely harm sentiments of several communities.

In a country like India, where love is not only give and take, it is doubtful that living romantic relationships can always be successful.

When the few is wedded, they might not be able to give up the communal and domestic duties which they could casually bypass while in a living relationship.

A Live-in marriage is much less open in India. It could result in a sense of distress to people living around.

Most of the changing times, living relationships runs up against the family. By the time the family allows, the few may loose curiosity about each other.

Individual choice has always been subservient to the communal sentiment or open public opinion

In January 2008, the Supreme Court validated long-term live-in associations as relationships. A Supreme Court bench headed by Justice Arijit Pasayat with P Satasivan announced that children delivered out of such a romance will no longer be called illegitimate. Legalizing 'live-in' interactions has made a fierce controversy across the contemporary society with a section hailing it as a pragmatic move while others fearing that it will kill the sanctity of matrimony. In the country like india this is one of the odd step taken, but nonetheless its a better one. After 61 many years of freedom, Indian women are progressively more realizing their protection under the law and performing exercises personal choice. Within a striking move, the Maharashtra state government recently proposed an amendment of Section 125 of the Felony Penal Code to safeguard the pecuniary and other passions of the "other woman", with an alteration in the definition of the "wife". The legislation looks for to provide security to women who enter into cohabitation with a guy out of choice or may have been hoodwinked into it. The expenses now awaits the acceptance of the government and the president's assent. Live-in human relationships have been area of the Indian ethos for a long period though a legal sanction has always been lacking. Live-in connections may have accomplished legal recognition, despite the controversies bordering it but whether it includes social popularity is another concern altogether.


In a Parliamentary Democracy of ours, legalizing of such a marriage itself is advancement and perhaps it is time to re examine our notions of relationship and use natural forces rather than against them. It really is ridiculous to deprive adults around age thirty to stay virgin if they don't get wedded. It's against dynamics. Perhaps time is ripe to rethink the meaning of relationship; time to provide two parents choice to look for compatibility before they exchange vows to stay forever with each other. All these principles are too progressive for our present-day society and will take the time before finding universal acceptance. But the very fact these phrases are being openly discussed confirms that the principles have arrived. Dedication is an important aspect of any relation. Any romance, whether a live-in or marriage should ensure that this causes no domestic violence, that contributes to mental imbalance and mental health variations in children.

In conditions of Karl Marx's doctrine of thesis, anti-thesis and synthesis, the live in marriage is anti-thesis of the family system predicated on marriage as a thesis and a synthesis is anticipated in terms of Universalization of the principle in a country like ours. Perhaps the synthesis will be the wide approval of the word DINK (Two times Income No Kids).

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