The problem of grief and attitude to it was one of the central moral, emotional and philosophical issues throughout history. Many philosophers and psychologists approached it to find different answers. The problem of overcoming grief is even more important, because regardless, we cannot be studied in by grief forever, no subject how serious losing seems to us.
St. Augustine was one of the first however, not least thinkers of days gone by, concerned with the issue. His experience in grief can be illustrated at best with the field of his friend from childhood loss of life.
But he was recinded from my frenzy, that with Thee he might be conserved for my comfort; a couple of days after in my own absence, he was attacked again by the fever, and so departed.
At this grief my heart and soul was absolutely darkened; and whatever I beheld was death. My indigenous country was a torment if you ask me, and my father's house a odd unhappiness; and whatever I had distributed to him, wanting him, became a distracting torture. (St. Augustine, Publication IV).
As we can see, Augustine was sorely impacted by his dear reduction. He lost his pleasure of life and longed death as a salvation from overwhelming grief. He did not find repose in anything, not in the woods, not in games and music, not in lavish banquets, not in the joys of bed or literature. (St. Augustine, Booklet IV). But Augustine eventually found his salvation in tears, which were "sweet to me, for they been successful my friend, in the dearest of my affections" (Augustine, Booklet IV). After that his feelings transformed as he longed to reside in and feared and hated fatality more than before.
Augustine boosts a question of how grief can be defeat. His attitude to grief and grieving is quite clear. In his "Confession", Reserve III, he explained his "theory of grief".
First, he asks himself, could it be normal to take pleasure from grief? He chooses that desire joy, if they are sane and also have common sense, but he concludes that delight of grief is intermingled to great extent with the ability to be merciful. From mercy which enjoyment of grief, by St. Augustine, springs interest. Passion in its convert, comes from "the vein of friendship", which is sometimes crudely transformed corrupt. Is then compassion an undesirable feeling? Certainly, not and therefore he states that with regard to compassion and mercy grief can be sometimes "loved" (more exactly, accepted "as is") (St. Augustine, Reserve III). A person unable to grieve sincerely is not able to show true compassion and mercy to those in grief, which is vital not only for Christianity, but also for mankind as a whole. Further in his "Confession" he has an example from his own life.
But I, miserable, then cherished to grieve, and searched for what things to grieve at, when in another's and that feigned and personated misery, that acting best delighted me, and drawn me the most vehemently, which drew tears from meAnd hence the love of griefs; not such as should sink deep into me; for I liked not to undergo, what I enjoyed to look on (St. Augustine, Publication III).
As we can easily see, at that time of his life Augustine had taken great joy in "fictional" grief, depicted in catalogs and in theatre plays. Thus, being able to commiserate with grief of fictional individuals, he then was more able to commiserate with the grief of living men.
Certainly, it is only natural for just about any person, which is sane and has good sense, to grieve and mourn of any significant damage in his or her life. Such is life that ones who we used to love may leave us alone in this world, we have been deprived of home, things we are being used to. But, in the deepness of our own grief and mourning we should remember that the life, our life, continues on, and the ones who passed on surely wouldn't normally like to see us mourning over their loss of life for the others of our own lives. For my own experience, I have a friend, who lost her mom when she was two decades old. As her mother raised her on her own, mother was the only real person who had taken value her. Naturally, the little princess was smashed with the loss of the only person she so sincerely enjoyed. However in her condition, though it could seem to be too pragmatic, she didn't have much time to mourn within the loss of life of her mother, because now she was out of the blue on her behalf own and had to believe how to earn a reliable living for herself in the first place. She was blessed to discover a good job very quickly, but it got her much more time to beat her grief, which she contained inside and didn't show much of it, except to her good friends.
In this way, it could be an illustration to confirm that St. Augustine is finally right in his take on grief. It really is natural to grieve over big loss, but we must not drown in our grief and make it a only sense of your existence.
Saint Augustine. The Confession of Saint Augustine. The Task Gutenberg Etext. Web. 21 Apr. 2011.