Posted at 10.03.2018
Almost always, we judge people by first impression; whether it's right or incorrect, it is another question. In some way, the first impression is the strongest. For many individuals it is the key in forming thoughts and opinions about the individual.
There are two opposing tips of view about the first impression. One expresses that the first impression holds true; the other insists that the first impression is misleading and superficial. I feel that everyone of us met a guy who immediately induced firmly positive or firmly negative feelings. Sometimes we even can not answer why we like or dislike a person. May be associated with face, figure, types of speaking, style of clothing? It really is difficult to point out one thing, it is extremely a set of qualities where we decide whether we like a person or not.
I won't make a blunder easily say that every of us has connection with disappointment in somebody who at first seemed to us almost an angel. We assumed him, but it proved that in reality he is not what appeared to us. Possibly the contrary situation is when we first met a man who has not made an optimistic impression on us, and then we became friends. Yes, of course, this also happens. None of them folks is immune from mistakes.
Only the first impression is based on our intuition, but the following are based on mind. The person who used to trust his intuition, intuition unlikely will start his center to a guy whom he did not like from the first look. And those who used to guage people on specific activities don't focus on the first impression.
We judge and analyze predicated on our very own ideas and guidelines. So, everything is dependent not on the individuals around, but on us; that which we are and what's our environment. The simplest way is to give the person even if we didn't like him, the second chance. Each following impression gives us a self confidence in building an opinion in regards to a person. Thus, we can avoid faults in the understanding of people.
If to speak about the value of the first impression, we have to say that there is popular 90/90 guideline. Its meaning is the fact that 90% of submission about someone is produced in the first 90 mere seconds of communication.
Creating the first impression is rather complex process, that includes a psychological framework, dynamics and feedbacks of all kinds.
The psychological mother nature of the first impressions formation. If you'd like others to like you, we should talk about what they love, to avoid disputes about the items they can be indifferent, rarely requesting questions and never give reason to feel that you're smarter.
The interpersonal evaluation is a mental essence of the impression development. It is linked to the formation of the image of another person with whom you will have shared activity or communication. The primary task of evaluation is to identify features, predicated on which the image of another person will be built. This image really helps to predict the behavior and the collection of activities.
A great role in social estimation is the process of stereotyping. Everyone under the influence of many factors, typically the experience of communication with people, shaped the specific criteria, stereotypes of other folks. The forming of these criteria often not understood by a guy, but they seriously impact and control the evaluation process.
There are three main groups of standards-stereotypes: anthropological, emotional-aesthetic and interpersonal. All of them reflects some features predicated on which evaluation is made.
Anthropological stereotypes associated with the external appearance of your person, his image. Social is connected with his status and kind of activities. Emotional-aesthetic stereotypes are created by own experience, exercised by sense of proportion and beauty.
Important role in developing first impressions is played by appearance. Here we see emotional-aesthetic stereotypes in work. They are based on some kind of informational factors, such as:
1. Physical elegance. Indeed, it is pointed out that "what's beautiful, is also good". This means that the effect of beauty can ascribe to the other party, without any factual basis, only positive identity features and moral features.
While evaluation of attractiveness, a particular attention is gives to a face. The role of position in the physical appeal is also important. We realize that good pose associates confidently, optimism, inner durability and dignity. The bad good posture is regarded as an indicator of self-doubt, dependence and subordination.
2. Self-presentation. Self-presentation is the capability to concentrate the interest of others to your undoubted strong factors and get rid of the partner's attention from negative features. This mainly depends on the capability to own psycho logistic initiative, of witness, expressiveness and some kind of artistry.
3. Style clothing. The decision of the clothes style usually instructs a great deal about the dog owner, about his self-understanding. During analyzing the design of clothes we pay attention to the following features: how much clothing suits the circumstance; how neat clothes are; how much clothes matches our stereotypes.
In the belief of clothing style there are a great number of stereotypes. Thus, for the agent of the business enterprise world, the traditional style is recommended. This also pertains to such details as: watch brands, lighters, ties, etc. For customers of the imaginative sphere individuality and independence are preferable.
4. Experienced emotional condition. Strong feelings provoked psychological contaminants; I mean that situation in which emotions and thoughts of one person can affect other folks.
We shouldn't forget that a good first impression is usually created by people who make creativity, optimism and other positive emotions.
It is assumed that the first impression is often misleading. Very often we feel that a person with whom we just lately attained is bully or inadequately educated, however in the near future our view of him changing for the better. Why does it happen? It is really because some people don't know how to express themselves well at the first appointment, steps to make a good impression.
Here are some advices steps to make a good first impression:
1. React natural in all situations.
2. Bear in mind the name of an person you meet with. Be sure you have memorized the name of a presented for you person. If you cann't bear in mind his name at another reaching, this person may get the impression that you were not thinking about acquaintance with him. Contact with a person, not knowing his name, will also be difficult, because you'll look like a full idiot.
3. Be punctual. Punctuality is also very important. The hold off will create a bad impression about you even before people meet you; this is not a good start of a gathering. Your punctual shows that you are organized and know how to appreciate your own time and someone else's.
But do not come too early either. In the event that you visit a business meeting prior to the appointed time, you will need to wait at work, and this may bring trouble to you, yet others. Coming ahead of time is terribly impolite.
4. Usually do not get into extremes. If you're too anxious and tightness, the first impression of you will not naturally be the best one. Or, on the other hand, if you'll be too much looseness or familiar, you can insult his interlocutor with your tendencies.
5. Don't be too serious and show that you will be too smart and too occupied man.
6. Be interested in other people, their businesses and problems.
7. Be respectable and tactful.
8. Expresses genuine appreciation. Pay attention to everything that you like in a person, and tell him about this.
9. Laugh to your companion and bend a little to him.
10. If you're standing, fully decide on the individual with whom you talk.
11. Ask questions; respond to feedback, expressing their viewpoints.
12. Usually do not interrupt.
13. Speak vigorously.
14. At least in the beginning of the chat say something positive, in support of then proceed to criticism or grievance.
15. Discuss different topics.
16. Exhibit your thoughts on current incidents.
17. Tell about your hobbies.
18. Usually do not tell about the details of your private life.
19. Do more compliments.
If you want to endear a guy whose attitude for you is negative, make him a compliment about his ability, which you don't have. Compliments require special tact. Every go with should be without double meaning so that it couldn't be interpreted as an optimistic and a negative.
Do not make a compliment about those features from which a person attempts to get rid of. Sincere, devoid of exaggeration compliments are always satisfying. In some instances, unspoken go with can be near to incivility.
20. Pay attention to the interlocutor with attention. Watch his non-verbal tendencies.
21. Focus on your appearance.
Give sufficient attention to your clothes, it must be nice, look good, make a good impression and be based on the situation. This means that for a business meeting is way better to choose suits, for meetings with parents of your companion is better to choose nice cloths, for interviews at the advertising agency choose creative, dazzling attire. Whatever the design of your clothes, one thing remains unchanged - it must be clean.
22. Give a little product.
In most circumstances, a small surprise offered at the meeting, is a nice gesture. It isn't recommended at any interview or if you make an effort to get a job, because it can be realized as a bribe. But think about a container of chocolates for your consumer or a wine for hostess if the party to that you are asked?
23. Keep an eye on your speech.
While conversing with new people carefully keep an eye on your speech. Do not utilize it in black humor, curses, etc. This is especially true while communication with the elderly and business associates. Remember that the same joke informed during a getting together with and outside it, can be interpreted in another way.
24. Feel favorably.
Many people frighten others because they constantly grumble. Even though you were obligated to commit bad journey to access the appointment, or if you have any problems to health, your new friends shouldn't always find out about it at length. Stay optimistic and people should you.
25. Try to find something in keeping between yourself as well as your interlocutor. Never look for variations. People would prefer to talk to those to whom they feel sympathy, and while communication with that they feel inner tranquility.
There is undoubtedly a concept as reflection in psychology. To be able relations be clean, free, open, reliable, people need to attempt to create an atmosphere of "reflection", where everything that your partner does, hears, seems to him. It's important to demonstrate to your interlocutor those areas of your character, which are incredibly close to your companion. Consciously apply to reflection. This can be achieved in three ways:
a) Through body language: gestures, good posture, gait, facial expression, breath and clothes;
b) Through talk: conversation tempo, speech, intonation, utilization of the same words and expressions;
c) Throughout the senses and thoughts.
The most brilliant example of unconscious representation can assume the partnership between buffs. They copy the other person in everything. They state the same, using the same words, have the same judgment and so forth.
26. Make only positive symptoms of attention, such as compliment, gratitude, grateful look, etc. Positive signs or symptoms of attention provides happiness to your interlocutor; enhance his self-assurance in his power.
A person, who gets too little positive indications of attention, shows discontent towards others. He blames his guards, bosses, federal government in his bad life, and frequently becomes stressed out.
Avoid the negative signals of attention, like a contemptuous look, shrug, an expression of distrust, ingratitude, ridicule.
27. Gestures and postures of people can make a positive and the opposite impression on the interlocutor. Don't forget to smile and tremble hands at the start.
Many gestures aren't fixed awareness, but fully present the ambiance and thoughts of man.
The raised shoulders of your companion tell that he is tense, feels the danger via you.
Raised shoulder blades and lowered brain tell that your partner is sealed, constrained. He's either uncertain of himself, or frightened of something, or unhappy with your conversation, or seems humiliated.
Omitted shoulders and raised head are a sign that your lover is defined to success, he control buttons the problem.
Bowed his head to one side tells that your lover is interested.
Here are several basic gestures and postures that clarify the inner feelings of individuals.
Gestures of openness help to endear the interlocutor; take up a frank conversation and leave the most advantageous impression of you. The gestures of openness include gesture "open forearms" when the interlocutor has his hands hands up, and a gesture of "undoes jacket". When arrangement is reached between your interlocutors, they unwittingly unbutton their coats.
Gestures of suspicion and secrecy tell that the individual doesn't feel like to talk. These gestures include rubbing the forehead, temples, and chin, involuntary within the face with hands. If the individual turns his eye, it's the clearest indication that he is concealing something.
Gestures and postures of security indicate that the individual feels a danger that is via you. The most frequent protective gesture is hands crossed over a chest.
If your lover has crossed his hands, it is better to complete the conversation. In case he has also clenched his hands into fists, then this means that that he's in extremely hostile mood. In this case, you have to slow down your talk or better change the subject.
Gestures of reflection and analysis show that the conversation is interesting for both partners. To the considering gestures we can include "itchy nose, create" and pose of "thinker", when your partner backs cheek with a palm.
Gestures of doubt and uncertainty tell that for interlocutor there is something unclear in the chat, or that your arguments don't appear to him convincing. Such gestures include rubbing with forefinger of your right hand a place under the ear canal lobe or the medial side of the neck of the guitar, rubbing the nasal by forefinger.
An offended person often lifts his shoulder blades and reduces his head. In case your associate has just such a cause, then the subject should be modified.
By the gestures and postures that express hostility include meticulously interlaced fingers, particularly if the hands are on the legs, clenched fists.
Disappointment is portrayed by: scratching the neck, undoing the shirt collar and tapping of feet on the floor.
A person who wants to get rid of the conversation lowers his eyelids. In case your companion wears eyeglasses, he would remove his spectacles and put them besides.
When your partner is scratching his hearing or sipping earlobe, it means that he's tired of tuning in and wants to express himself. If your lover is walking around the room, it could be recognized as something that he is considering the dialogue, but he must think carefully before he determines. If your partner is standing, putting his practical a stand or seat, then he is uncertain if you pay attention to him attentively. A man who is smug and arrogant usually folds his hands alongside one another.
If your partner is suddenly began to collect lint from clothes, while he converted away from you or he's looking at the ground, which means that he will not trust you and do not want to express his view.
The man, who throughout a conversation is possessing his practical the side border of a chair or keep his practical his legs, doesn't want to keep the talk, you should stop conversing if you need to make a good impression.
If your lover is smoking, then, incidentally he produces a smoke cigarettes you can determine his frame of mind to you as well as your dialog. It the smoke arises constantly which means that your partner wants a conversation. But of smoke is directed downward, a partner feels negative, and the faster it produces smoke, the more he dislikes your chat.
To determine the condition of someone's mood is possible viewing his gait. The person who helps to keep his hands in his wallets or wave them badly, look at his feet is within a depressed feelings. Fast gain with waving hands says about self-confidence.
28. Facial expressions inform a lot about a condition of a person. Firmly pressed lips tell about closure. Omitted corners of the mouth tell about irritation.
During the conversation, try to pull aesthetically a triangle on the face of a partner, in which you should look. This will help you get focused.
29. In order one to be recognized as a bred man, you have to reduce such characteristics as excessive curiosity, temper, touchiness and vanity.
Curiosity is present atlanta divorce attorneys person. Healthy attention liberalizes and promotes intellectual development. However, if the person takes a pastime in other's affairs, eavesdropping discussions, looking at in keyholes, so such interest is a demo of extremely bad manners. It stops communication between people.
Hot temper never really helps to catch the attention of the interlocutor. The person would you not know how to argue, without passing on the higher tone, destroys interactions. Usually do not justify temper by natural weakness, hot temper is means a lack of education.
Touchiness irritates people around you. Everyone in the presence of any touchy companion seems pressured. Touchy person is often complaining on his unpleasant life, easily infects others along with his bad feeling.
Vanity is one of the most detrimental evils. Often vain people occupy ruling positions and are endowed with certain expert. They need frequent confirmation of their superiority over others. If you discover in yourself the signs of this disease, try to eliminate it until t exceeded into the persistent form.
So, to make a good first impression is very important. It will help you in further human relationships, business, work It is stated that you can ruin the first impression about yourself during the first 4 seconds, but then you'll need 4 years in order to change, to fix it. So, better keep all rules which were written above and first impression about you'll be always positive.